Unrequited love

Being near you makes my heart beat very fast, for some reason this feeling is getting stronger and stronger to always admire you every time we meet and stare at each other. Is this what is called love, but why can't I dare to express it in front of you it feels like I want to fly when around you how could I dare to express this feeling in front of people who couldn't possibly accept this feeling. It would be stupid if I dared to do it but I could at least hold this feeling for long which I could not keep to myself. Maybe loving someone is the most beautiful thing in our life. Should love be reciprocated or not at all. Now we will prove it through this one story.

***

This story began when I had gone up to grade 2 at SMA Tunas Nusantara. At that time we were implementing MOS (Student Orientation Period) for new students at our school. I previously didn't know my juniors, they introduced themselves to me and I just greeted them casually. However, when everyone introduced themselves to the upperclassmen, there was one boy who didn't care about a situation that bothered the ears, he even looked for books in the library to read. Really, I did not think that there are still guys who like to be alone and never tire of reading books. At that time, I ventured to let myself in to that guy and I approached him while he was engrossed in reading his own book in the library.

"Hey, what are you doing alone here, why don't you come along with your friends to get acquainted with your seniors?" I asked the guy.

"So what if I don't come, will it be a problem for you?" he replied indifferently.

"It's not like that, it's fine, but it's a wonder you are more comfortable alone here?"

"I really prefer to be alone sis. Bay The Way, what's your name, aren't we acquainted yet? ” he asked a little embarrassed.

"Know the name of Fany's brother. Who are you yourself? " I asked a little awkwardly.

“My name is Ray. Sis, I went to class first, so I want to clean up things for MOS. See you sis? " walk out and smile.

"Yes, you also want to go to class. See you soon ”. With a happy smile.

Since then, I was very close with him and often accidentally our eyes met each other and did not forget to smile to each other. Until finally I started liking a guy who I had not met for a long time but had melted my heart and what I liked the most about him was his smile which made my heart pound and made me uncomfortable when he was near him. I also ventured to ask him for his cellphone number. Luckily she was willing to give it to me and she also gave a smile as she gave her cell phone number as if she expected it too. At that time I wanted to scream at school, because that day was a day that I could not forget as long as my life I could sit beside him and chat with him and I hoped that time would not just stop and disappear in an instant from my face. However, all of that could not last longer.

***

I woke up when my cellphone rang, it turned out that someone had sent a message even though the clock was 22:00. I miss when I see my cell phone screen that says Ray. Then I immediately got up and as fast as lightning opened the message on my cellphone and it said, "You are asleep, I can't sleep, I don't know why you always have your image in my mind." I also replied to the message "Huh! The truth is you are thinking about brother, actually you were already sleeping, but because of a text message and it was from you, I woke up. Do you need to accompany you? " full of curiosity. "Sorry, sis, I didn't mean to wake you up, you don't have to be late tomorrow if you just want to accompany me". I also look for excuses so that I can be in line with Ray. "I'm not going to be late, kaka was already sleeping, you just calm down". Smiling happily when replying to sms. "My brother actually likes you, brother is kind, caring, funny again." I read the message it feels like this heart won't stop beating. "What! You like kaka, are you not kidding? ”. Shocked but excited. "Yes, I like older siblings as my seniors." It was devastated by my feelings at that time, because he only thought that I only liked being a senior. I cried all night and did not reply to any more text messages from Ray, I was hurt because I was too hopeful with him. Could it be that love does not have to have and he never understands my feelings ...

***

In the morning, I went to school with eyes swollen from crying all night. I accidentally bumped into Ray on my way to my class and I fell because the impact from the collision was too hard. As soon as possible I covered my eyes with my palms so as not to look swollen which was none other than him. Ray quickly apologized to me.

Brother Fany, I'm sorry I accidentally hit you? ” showing a sorry face. "Never mind I'm fine, bro, I want to go to class first." With a cool face. Even Ray was surprised that Brother Fany was not usually that cold to him. "Then what's with your face why you cover it with your palms?" with a worried face. “It's okay, this was just last night when I was bitten by an ant while I was asleep so it got swollen like this. I'm embarrassed that's why I covered it, I already wanted to go to class. " Full of sadness. Ray, confused why today Brother Fany is so different, even though last night he looked very happy when I texted, strange. He spoke to himself.

***

Unbeknownst to Fany, Ray actually loves another girl and that girl also likes Ray. The girl is a classmate named Sindy. They were very close and often Ray asked me out for Sindy walks, whereas I never did. At that time, I followed Sindy and Ray to the cafeteria together and Ray also ordered food for Sindy. They both looked very affectionate and happy. I, who had been following them and peeking behind the tree, could only cry, feeling the pain so deep and unable to endure the pain. If, I was honest with Ray, if I had liked him for a long time, I certainly wouldn't have felt the pain that tormented me. But, it was too late because they secretly made out yesterday. I was unable to endure this pain, I now can only cry lamenting my regret that I don't want to be candid about my feelings for Ray and just become one-sided love that I can never have. But until whenever my love will never disappear and I will always wait for him until Ray can love me as someone special in your life not as a senior. My love is only for you now and forever .....

Done....