Do not want to be 'crazy' because of a possessive man who acts as good as he does

Not a story to be proud of, but an experience that is said to be the best teacher in the future. I have known him since he was in elementary school, not because we are neighbors or in the same school, but because we are in the same class in the tutoring in my city. Unlike my female friends who are easy to get along with male students, I tend to be quiet.

It can be counted on the fingers how much we communicated in 3 years in the same tutoring class. Perhaps because of that, I didn't have any particular impression of her, let alone having feelings of attraction as a young girl who had just reached puberty. Everything is normal, even until the last day of the tutoring class which is filled with prayers so that all students' national exam results are good and can be accepted in the desired junior high school.

It seems that the separation in tutoring is not the end, because when I went to the junior high school level, I was in the same class as 4 of my friends in tutoring: 3 girls, and another one who I will call Adit. Don't imagine that we will be close just because we are not used to new friends, I do need a few days to get used to the new environment, but Adit is a person who is easy to get along with, he looks very familiar with his classmates and my other friends.

I am an ordinary young woman who can be said to be less concerned with the problem of monkey love. Many say I am not sensitive to the codes given by the boys who chat with me, but I consider it purely to ask about lesson problems, one of which is Adit. We were often in the same group of subjects, and also got closer after he often asked me about poorly understood formulas.

Familiarity in the guise of friendship probably made me, who at that time did not understand the context of love, misinterpreted what happened between us. After the announcement of junior high school graduation, we are officially dating. Not without reason I accept it, I think that he is a good person. Not grumpy, devotes time to his positive hobbies, and in my view he is not the kind of restraining guy some of my friends have experienced.

The first year we dated, everything happened normally, even though it's not like Korean dramas or teen fiction genre films that present high school romantic scenes. Nor was he the type of bad boy who couldn't live without a cigarette, and the main thing was that he didn't mind us dating healthy. What I am grateful for is that I am still free to move and develop my hobbies in several extracurricular activities even though we are different schools, without any restrictions from it.

Everything started to feel strange to me when we were in class XI, at first I thought maybe his controlling attitude which slowly began to change to restraint was based on because he didn't want to separate despite being different schools, but over time I began to feel he was overreacting. Asking me to stop taking extracurricular activities, which he said was afraid of being tired, turned into an order to stop extracurricular activities because of blind jealousy if I collaborated with male extracurricular members.

He also often got angry and acted harshly. Several times he met him searching the contents of my cellphone, but instead of the expression of relief that was etched on his face because of his openness about the contents of the cellphone, he was even angry and he began to dare to do physical violence just because I had not left the extracurricular group according to his request. At that time I was already thinking about running away, because to be honest I was starting to be afraid of him, not to mention that everything I did looked wrong and was always scorned with his dirty words.

But the day after the incident he apologized, I still forgive him because I feel comfortable with him, thinking the incident was just an error. But a series of similar incidents occurred again, even after I left the extracurricular group. She got mad just because I did my homework without telling her. We rarely see each other, but I'm even relieved, because every time we meet at least he will yell at me.

For a year I persisted with him, with yelling, insults, and also physical violence, my sanity finally urged me to stop and be indoctrinated automatically that the love that was offered as the basis for him doing it and also when apologizing after the incident was just his obsession. I finally made it clear to him that I wanted us to stop dealing with the reason that his attitude had gone too far.

Honestly at that moment I felt relieved and I thought everything was over. But it turns out that life is not always simple. He sent me short messages via SMS, BBM and WA. It doesn't contain the word sorry or ask for feedback, but it all contains insults about me. I was devastated for being put down by someone I trusted.

I also decided to block all of his contacts after replying to his message with a sequence of explanations for why I asked to stop contacting. This did not make him introspect but even made it even worse with the accusation that I was dating another man.

I do not bother, because for me when I explain but he is even getting worse, I think he needs some time alone. I let him say whatever he wanted, but in the end I, who was 16 at the time, chose to change numbers temporarily to avoid it. I don't know how it started, but a month after I changed my numbers I heard the news that he was getting along with my high school classmate.

He spit the story that I was a bad point in our dating. It was not enough to stop there, my close friends from junior high school began to approach him with the same story. They didn't fully judge me to be the most wrong after hearing my explanation, but the sympathy they already had made Adit know my new cell phone number again.

I'm not angry with my best friend or my classmate, I'm more worried about him coming back with his terror. My guess is not completely correct. He did come back to terrorize in the early days after knowing my new number, but when he was satisfied with his emotions he wanted to be reconciled. We talked about why I asked to quit.

With sweet words he explained that everything was pure because he didn't want us to separate. He started to act cute like when he was in the beginning of dating. It made me think that he had returned to his old self. And it made me think that getting back together was a good offer like my friends suggested.

In the end, I chose to remain as a friend at the risk of getting scolded in the first place. I may be comfortable with him but upon revisiting, I'm only able to accept him when he is nice, without being able to guarantee that I will be able to deal with him when his brusque returns. At that time maybe I was just a teenager just puberty, but I fully realized that what he had was an obsession to hold me.

I am not jealous of my friends who change partners who I think of as a process of finding identity while I am single, from then on I prefer to love myself by giving me comfort and doing new activities that I didn't have the chance to do when I was dating.

Honestly, I was afraid that my decision that deviated from my friend's suggestion was the wrong thing, but with the intention that I had established a focus on my education, I made up my mind and thank God now I never regret my decision. I can be myself without being afraid of anyone, this happened only because at that time I used my sanity to think and listened to the heart's cry to decide.

Extraordinary love has many meanings in my life, if asked why this story that I share on the theme of extraordinary love and not another story. So the answer is that because my experience is not experienced by everyone, the extraordinary love I share is how to choose between giving priority to love for myself or love for fellow God's creatures who have been considered to be soul mates in the future.

Especially for ladies who still have teenage status, never be afraid of threats, restraints, flaws or anything possessive men use to threaten you, you don't need to be afraid of making wrong decisions at your young age. You need to listen to the comfort your heart voices and never think you are weak in order to gain your freedom. Good love is love that always supports you and accepts what you are. Remember it ladies!