Separation is not always a mistake, it could be a process leading to maturity

Had planned to get married but then separated. This reality is bitter but it must be faced when it actually happens, as a Vemale friend wrote in the #Bridezilla Writing Competition.

I am Ningsih, still 19 years old. I am the first of two siblings. I worked in a restaurant in the Malang area as well as being the backbone of my family since graduating from vocational high school, because my father did not work while my mother had died at the time. My brother is still in grade 1 high school in one of the schools in the Batu area.

Sometimes I envy those whose parents are still complete. There are mom and dad. When there is a problem, mother and father provide solutions and guide them. But my life is different, no mother and not familiar with father. Holding on to my own problems makes me stressed and often ill. Until I ever prayed that I wanted to have a girlfriend to help me reach adulthood.

Honestly, getting married young is my dream. Alhamdulillah some of my prayers were answered, I have a girlfriend. My boyfriend is a 23 year old Madiun. We have a serious relationship up to the level of marriage. Actually we are both the first children, so our egos are big. Trying to respect each other and accept each other's opinions.

One year running is not a short time, we are always together with joy and sorrow, our parents already know our relationship. We decided to go to a further level to introduce each other to our parents. Alhamdulillah, my boyfriend's family accepted and welcomed me well as well as in my family. The more stable and confident in this serious relationship. Even though we don't have the capital at all. Hopefully having the intention and purpose will make it easier. Amen.

In our LDR, the beginning of our relationship was smooth and frequent communication. Then after a long time we rarely communicate and are busy working. I ignore and try to be busy too. Until we do not communicate at all. What's wrong with him? Restless and worried. I tried to contact him, finally got reply and his parents did not approve of our relationship, my boyfriend immediately asked to break up. I know he's in a dilemma and confused, the choice between me and his parents. If I was in her position I would prefer my parents. Instantly my mind was messed up and I was stressed for days and I even forgot when I last ate.

Why should this relationship be continued without parental blessing? I find it difficult to communicate with him because he rarely plays cellphones. I was desperate to go to Madiun to finish this heart debate. Finally we gave in and broke up well. I still haven't given up on him yet. I know he also loves me and even had time I saw him cry silently. Sincerity is easy to say but feels heavy in the heart. Somehow it happened to us. Is this the maturing process that is in my prayer?

Fighting feelings and making peace we took our separate paths, looking for each other's identities. My future is still long, it's wasted just for this. God loves me, I know that. I forgot my dream to marry young. The trauma is still felt today. I was busy at work and ignored the many nice men who walked in. Focus on work and lazy to start a new relationship. I started to pamper myself and pursue my dreams. Hopefully, a few years later, if we are really matched, bring us together and make it easy for you to please You.