Those who have an affair do not have to cry, because it will only make you hurt

The most complicated problem in every human life is forgiving yourself. Every time we are in trouble, the first to blame is ourselves, always judge ourselves that the problem occurs because 100% of our fault. In fact, not infrequently we judge ourselves too much for the actions we do.

Usually humans are the most difficult to forgive about past problems. Whether it's problems with family, friends, or love life in his past life. It's hard to accept that the disappointments that are present in life can quickly be healed by making peace with yourself. But the issue of forgiving oneself is not just a matter of time but involves effort and will.

I'm here to tell a failure that I felt one year ago. Why do I call it a failure, because in the 24 years I have lived, it is the biggest failure I have experienced, both mentally and socially in my life.

At that time my life could be said to be very happy, having a lover who so sincerely loved me that he even promised to marry me. We have been in a relationship as lovers for approximately four years running. Unexpectedly, the person whom I trusted for years and my choices I had made in his heart, turned out to be humiliating my trust. Yes, he cheated on another woman.

My life has changed completely. I never thought that the person I trusted all this time could do something that would disappoint me. I never stop lamenting all these failures. I can only blame myself at that time. Blame that it felt like I didn't deserve to be beside her. I was the one who felt stupid because I couldn't take care of my partner's heart, until my lover turned his heart to another woman.

My life seems complicated, negative things always come to me. From the start I gave myself a negative stigma until it felt like I no longer understood how to live the life that I should have gone through. As if the world feels unfair to me to call it a place where I live my life.

A few months later, about 3 months from the incident I was getting tired of lamenting the problem. I tried to get up from my slump. It turned out that I realized, something that we hold and we force to be together will never be possible. A husband and wife can separate, especially with my relationship which is only tied to a feeling without being tied to civil records, of course the risk of being separated is also very large. And I also realized, that a relationship does not all end happily, like the fairy tale story. That is absolutely impossible in this world.

At first trying to get up from that slump was very difficult, because honestly forgiving yourself really takes time. But gradually, I became more and more confident that my life is the one who determines it, not other people. So, at that time I was determined, that I deserve to get the happiness of my life back. Even though it feels like the happy nature in that world is not absolute, but at least I can appreciate that my presence in this world is a gift that I should be proud of and I have to celebrate.

The first thing I did to return to my normal life as usual was to forgive all my past mistakes, and always be grateful that at least from the separation I got positive energy for learning life in the future. The other thing I do is forgive myself. Often times we always hurt ourselves by making judgments that we are terrible, even though the various kinds of problems that are present are not necessarily 100% our fault. Because in fact, if we are always being whipped up to be fooled around, blamed at first, then the spirit that is in us will be tired to accept all kinds of things that are negative in nature.

For that I try to slowly forgive myself, and always make peace with myself by accepting all the shortcomings and strengths that I have, so I don't just compare my life that I am currently living with the lives of other people, which doesn't mean they always feel happy. .

Basically, humans are just social creatures, who always spice up their life stories with drama. Yet if we are aware, we have the potential for extraordinary pride, which no one else has. So, why grieve too late, life will continue to go where we stand.

And now I prefer to enjoy the excitement of life that Allah loves. WhatWhatever the obstacles, I always hold myself firmly that the life I am now living is solely because God has arranged it. That way I continue to learn and fight all my ambitions that have been locked up in myself. I have begun to be able to break the walls of negative prejudice that are present by accepting all of my self-condition with gratitude.

Now my life is back to normal, I have a lot of support systems from my friends and the people I love. I am also busy with all productive activities, one of which is writing this story which I will share with the readers.

Life is really strange, it seems like just yesterday I felt disappointed with the incident of this affair, but now the life I live now is better than before. Even so, I can't let my guard down anymore because someday I'm sure there will be more new problems coming than disappointment, and I hope I'm ready to go through with them.